Never Established

One of my friends sent me two CDs!

CD1: or Songs to Cheer You Up When You Are Gloomy and Wish Not To Be
CD2: To Fully Appreciate These Songs, Listen to them When Sad, Lonely or in a Melancholy Mood. DO IT WOMAN!

 That’s all I really have to say at the moment. I’m just a little, you know…wordless about how college is going. It’s good, which I suppose it a word, but I can’t really write about it, if that makes sense?

College is…well, it’s lots of things. I’ve had 6 classes so far and gotten six assessments — or more (I don’t remember at the moment, but it’s a lot.) But while it’s a lot of work and some of it is kind of boring, it looks like it’s also going to be a lot of fun. Everything is specialised now — I’m in courses like Business Organisation Principals or Venue Management or Audio Visual and Event Production and they all have codes like BBA122 and EVT127 and I feel so grown up it’s fantastic.

It’s also tons of fun because I’m learning things I always wanted to do — things like floor and seating patterns: The Herring Bone Style and Theatre Style and I’m learning Theming and so on. One of my assessments is to put on an Italian Luncheon at the Grand Dining Room in 5 weeks. This stuff is so great — I love it.

The only problem is that I feel like even though I’m here [on the net] I’m not really. Because I’m not on my computer [I haven't hooked it up yet] I’m not on a chat program or logged into myO or anything, and so I’m like a silent observer, which is kind of wierd for me.

But I’m having a great time and slowly settling in, which is good. I’ll talk to you all later! Kiss kiss.

Everytime Kryptonite plays on the radio, she’ll remember that first terrifying day, the drive beforehand with her brother in the car and singing along in an attempt to feel better about her decisions.

When she hears Interpol’s Evil, she’ll remember sitting alone in her room with the volume up, trying to ignore the lonely ache her friends used to fill.

David Grey will always be her song of hope — of love and joy.

And always, she’ll look back with the enthusiasm of O Yeah, with no regrets and only hidden sadness.

 It always gets the better of you.

So, um…after that bitching a couple of posts ago, I went to Sydney and went shopping on Sunday.

I found a dress for $25AUD.

And just because Karma has a funny sense of humour; it was marked down from $219. So much for my hatred of fashion. The dress is gorgeous; a size 16 and really nice. It’s black, it’s [le gasp] a halter neck and it’s really just something fun and grown up and kind of sexy to wear. I love it. The skirt is a decent length and it’s a pretty cut.

 

Anyway. I’ve now finished my O week. Monday was pretty cool and chilled out, since everyone was checking in at different times. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we had lots of ‘briefings’ [A misnomer, I say, since none of them were brief] and a couple of team building activities. I met some cool people, some not so cool people who are still very nice, and I’ve just generally had a good time.

The college itself is really gorgeous. I’m at this old catholic seminary, in a single room [with a sink!]. It is literally ten minutes walk from Manly beach, and the beach is gorgeous. We have a place called the Sand Bar which we go to all the time — it’s like a common room but with a bar down there, and it’s really fun to socialise.

On the downside, I am the youngest person at the college, since my birthday is at the end of June — and you have to turn 18 within 6 months of commencing your course. So everyone else is over age [there are 12 of us who aren't] and that can be kind of difficult, but fun too.

I’ll give you an update soon. Kiss kiss.

Off to Sydney today, so it might be a couple of days before I can really update again. I start college on Monday, and hopefully I will be able to tell you guys all about it Monday/Tuesday.

See you soon! Kiss kiss.

I hate shops. Shopping in general, I don’t mind — in fact I can go so far as to say that I love it. As long as I’m in the mood and I’m not looking for anything in particular. But shops just tick me off. Now I’m not exactly a small girl and I’ll readily admit it. I’m a sixteen on top and an eighteen on the bottom [Australian sizes -- just minus four generally for Americans.] so it’s not exactly miniscule. But on the other side, I’m not morbidly obese either. I don’t weigh 240 kilograms and breathe with a respirator, and I don’t lay in bed all day with a poking stick and a buzzer when I want something. I’m an active, generally healthy person.

So why is it that the world of fashion suddenly drops off at the size 16? I go into a store and say, “I need to find something in a 16 to 18 that I can wear to a cocktail party,” and the salesclerk says, “Sorry, we only carry up to 14s.”

If I can’t buy clothes in a store, what exactly am I supposed to wear? Do they think that all fat people wear hessian bags? 

If I did manage to get into a store that actually sold size 16 and up, do you think they had anything suitable for a cocktail party? I went into one store — and while the clerks were nice to me, at least — the only dress they had looked like I was wearing my grandmother’s dress to her funeral. I looked about fourty rather than seventeen.

Those stupid “Plus Size” stores annoy me too. With brand names like “1626″ [From size 16 to size 26] and “Big Girl’s Boutique” and “Big and Beautiful”, it becomes almost shameful to walk into one of those places. And when you do, all the things are humongous [the 16 is too big for me] and it’s all for old people. It follows the idea that you should cover as much as possible and be as baggy as possible, which just makes you look fatter. And I’m 17! Why do I want to wear an ankle length dress with a high neckline?

Another shop I went to carried Larges and very occasionally, Extra Larges. Since all of the dresses were clingy stretch fabric it didn’t matter whether or not I was actually in the XL [my actual size] or the L [just a touch small] since you could see everything anyway. And the dresses may have been large sizes, but they were made for small people. The clothes were designed for small people and all they did was make it bigger for the fatties. Skirts above the knee to show off man-thighs? Rouging around the stomach to make you look that much fatter? Give me a break. I looked somewhat like beached killer whale in some of the halter neck black dresses; white skin and black, clingy dress. Good look. I’ll be wearing that if I ever join greenpeace. Maybe they’ll give me some free dolphin.

The other thing that gets my goat is that they won’t even acknowledge my presence in their store.  I had $250 dollars to spend today, and I spent none of it, because I didn’t get the help I needed to find a dress. I walk into a store, look around — and if they’d just asked, I would have told them I was looking for a dress for a cocktail party, and a business shirt and a pair of shoes, and if I can do it in one store then all the better. But no. Instead, when I walk into a store, the servers in the store quite literally ignored me. At one point there were three of them, they had nothing to do, and they didn’t even say hello. I actually walked towards the girl, caught her eye (but wasn’t game to approach because I felt rude) and it took her another five minutes to even say, “Can I help you with anything?”

Then when I do actually tell them what they want, they say, “Well we have larges which will fit 16s but they mightn’t go up to the 18 range.” They get down all the larges they have. Turns out that their large is not a 16, it’s a 14-16, so I wasted a half hour in the when I could have actually been finding something I wanted to wear.

One [very, incredibly thin] girl said to me once that fat chicks complain but they never look at a skinny girl’s point of view. She said that some skinny girls can’t find clothes because they’re all to big. A couple of weeks later, we walked into a store and she found everything she wanted — and always in her size. I decided that skinny girls are fucking deluded. They have no idea what it’s like to try to buy something and know that people are looking down at you because you don’t fit into their stocklines.

Will you all kill me if I say I’m going away again?

It’s a short period this time, I swear; overnight. I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Y’all be good till then.