Never Established

I have finished my German Writing Exam and am reasonably confident that I got an A, or at the least a B+. I have done my Maths Exam and am reasonably confident that I passed — possibly even on a B. I have done my QCS exam and am quite confident I upheld my class’ mean. I have not done drama. I have done English and I quite enjoyed it.

Mum has been for her interview and she thinks it went well, which is great. I hope she gets an offer. I also want her to get the job in Sydney — just because I think it was made for her.

I’ve got to register at QTAC and UAC [The Queensland and New South Wales Tertiary Admittance Centres] sometime soon in order to get that out of the way.

I’ve got tomorrow off and I’m going to watch TV, work on this website and write. Thank god for Exam Block.

Also, I got a review from a review site I applied to. It was interesting, although it didn’t really tell me much that I didn’t know — a couple of things I wouldn’t have picked up on, but other than that it was stuff I was planning to correct anyway. It did, however, give me an idea of how I want my writings section to actually appear. I’ve had a great idea for that.

I’m starting to think I’m looking for some…I don’t know…websites to design? Nothing really technical — you can go to Alan for that — but nice websites with clean lines. Mmm, I don’t know. But if anyone wants a design, then feel free to talk to me and I’ll think about it.

I’m going to go to my next door neighbour’s now. I’m sorry that this post isn’t more interesting, but hopefully I should have some good stuff up soon.

Also, at Baron’s suggestion I want to make a favicon — but I’m not sure how to go about doing that. Directions/instructions/links to tutorials anyone?

Kiss kiss.

I would update with something meaningful, really I would, but I’ve finished QCS yesterday and my brain is dead.

So, just imagine this update is somewhat deep or influencial to your life, and watch this space.

I’ve survived the first day of QCS — The Writing Task and Multiple Choice One. Tomorrow is Short Response [Short my arse.] and Multiple Choice Two. I’ve gotten through half, although it’ll only be downhill when I’ve finished Short Response.

Also, [and this is the good part] MY MUM GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I think I saw this a couple of years ago, and I always wanted to do it.

1. My name is Kathryn.
2. Also Kate, Katy, Katie, KM, Kathy and Kath.
3. But I really like Kat.
4. I’m in Year 12.
5. I’m scared shitless about next year.
6. I can’t wait to go.
7. Can you be terrified and excited all at once?
8. I’m blonde.
9. Sometimes a little too blonde.
10. I hate Maths with a passion.
11. I wish I’d just dropped it.
12. I used to live with 4 people.
13. Then Dad died.
14. Then Andy left.
15. Then Michael left.
16. And now there’s just Mum.
17. Some weeks, I barely see her.
18. I’m thinking of putting up my old assignments.
19. They’re pretty good.
20. And interesting, I think.
21. I want a suprise party, just once in my life.
22. I used to dream of having a surprise party.
23. Mostly when I wasn’t allowed to have a birthday party.
24. I want a journal.
25. A gorgeous one, that I can go travelling with.
26. And I can write down my experiences.
27. And my profound thoughts.
28. Not that I ever really have any.
29. But if I did, I’d like to write them down there.
30. Up to thirty.
31. It’s funny how the mind wanders.
32. You just kind of have to let it wander to get these things.
33. I don’t have a favourite flower.
34. Or colour.
35. Or food, really.
36. Or a best friend.
37. I guess that says something about me.
38. It’s not that I don’t have friends.
39. I just never really trust then enough to open up –
40. — and so we never get close enough to have the movie-style ‘best friends bond’.
41. That, and I’m selfish.
42. I swear to god, sometimes I think I’m the most selfish person on earth.
43. I’m a cynic.
44. I believe very little people say to me.
45. I’m also an incurable romantic.
46. This is harder than it looks.
47. I have an inbuilt need for perfection.
48. I think it comes from my mother.
49. It’s not obsessive compulsive.
50. [Halfway!]
51. Not at all.
52. I have a messy room.
53. I have a messy locker.
54. And we all know my life is a shambles.
55. But when I set myself to a task, I’m not happy until it’s perfect.
56. Not OCD, then.
57. I’m exacting.
58. My ex used to make jokes about my being OCD.
59. I think I played up to it.
60. And to anything that group said.
61. I was younger than them –
62. — and I wanted them to see that I was –
63. — I dunno –
64. special? Worthy of attention?
65. Different.
66. I wanted them to see that I was different.
67. Look where that got me.
68. No, the 11th, not the 15th.
69. I was labelled a total ditz by people I liked.
70. And it crushed my self-confidence.
71. Made me guard everything I said.
72. So I wasn’t comfortable with myself.
73. Well fuck that!
74. It was two years ago.
75. I’m more comfortable with me than I ever was before.
76. I talk to whomever I want to talk.
77. And I’m at ease with them.
78. The me of two years ago makes me cringe.
79. There are still some friends from back then that I miss –
80. Liam, Flynn, Dave.
81. Haven’t spoken to them in ages.
82. I hope they’re having fun.
83. 17 to go.
84. I’m listening to Interpol.
85. Antics.
86. I love Evil. Such a good song.
87. I swear to god, if no one comments on this, I’m going to be crushed.
88. I don’t think I’ve been this open in months.
89. Years even.
90. I want to go travelling.
91. I need to see everything.
92. Eat pasta in Italy –
93. — and all those cliches.
94. Our family friend said, “You know you’re a traveller when …”
95. I want that when.
96. Not that I’ll tell you guys.
97. Too afraid of someone thinking it’s stupid.
98. And also because I’m running out of numbers. Going.
99. Going.
100. Gone.

I’m getting closer and closer to holidays. QCS [Queensland Core Skills -- the big standardised test for year 12s] is next Tuesday and Wednesday, and after that week I’m in exams, and then holidays. And then it’s almost over. Term three is the most stressful term in the Year 12 year, because it defines your mark, mostly. At the end of term 3, things go to verification and very little can be changed once that happens. Your marks in term 4 may pull you up or down a little, but mostly it stays the same.

Because this is so stressful, most of the Year 12s get very little sleep or social time [unless we neglect our study, which I'm prone to do anyway.], and I’m one of them. So I’ve decided that during the holidays I’m going to treat myself. I’ll get my lashes tinted, my eyebrows done, my hair re-cut and streaked all pretty, and then I’ll go up to Brisbane and go shopping like the world will end the next day.

Frankly, this fantasy is the only thing getting me through at the moment. I’m so tired I could pass out [Thank god it's a Friday!] but it’s all good.

The acronym is Time In Term 3 and Time After Term 3. Mostly it just refers to that I waste my time now thinking about what I’m going to do once it’s over — but read it any way you like. ^_^

English and German is over, although I’m worried about the marks. But otherwise it’s all good. Uhm…kind of tired and my battery is about to cut out. Kiss kiss.

… Sadly, she doesn’t actually know this place exists, but what can you do? [She's the one staying with me now, hehe.] It’s her birthday today and I’m quite happy. We got a package from her Mum which contained a present from her friends — and I’m really glad of that. Because frankly, until we got that, we were thinking less and less of them. For instance, she was going to have a party [Did I mention it was her EIGHTEENTH?] and asked if they’d come down from Brisbane for it. Of them, all but one said no. That’s a pretty piss poor effort for a friend, you know?

But they sent her a book of letters to her and stuff, which was sweet. So they’re partly forgiven. ^_^

I might not be updating much for a couple of days — big, big, big exams coming up. Got German speaking tomorrow and English Group speeches, so I’d better get cracking or I’m in trouble.

Cheers.

Welcome to Version Two! It’s a little brighter, a little warmer for Winter. [My winter, of course, since it's Summer in the Northern Hemisphere.] I’m really proud of this layout — it’s Valid CSS and Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict, whee.

Thank you so much to Alan, who helped me with the Cross Browser Compatability — it looks crap in IE, but if anyone I know is using IE anyway, they should get Firefox now, or you’ll be in trouble.

So, yes. This is Abandon!

I am so close to finishing the layout of Never-Established 2, but I have to get some help from Alan first. Hopefully it’s an easily sorted out matter, haha.

Anyway, I can’t do that tonight because I’m going to go and see My Fair Lady, but I will talk to you all tomorrow (I hope!)

Cheers.

The weak winter sun beat down on the two-storey, red-brick house, the climbing roses framing the windowsills perfectly. Peter Amaretto stood for a moment on the footpath, admiring the quaint perfection of the house. But then, his Julie had always wanted perfection. With a slight grimace, he opened the white picket gate which perfectly matched the white-picket fence and, no doubt, the white-picket life his once-family almost certainly now inhabited. The Return of Persephone.

Haha. I posted it on OB. It’s a story I wrote a while ago, and I’ve only just posted it. ^-^” It’s kind of long, so it hasn’t really gotten any replies yet. Although luffles to Alan because he posted. ^-^”

I spoke to my brother again tonight.

And he apologised.

And he said that he may have made the situation to be worse than it was.

So while there’s still stuff I can’t fully deal with yet –

– that’s okay. Because he’s okay. Mostly. :Hugs To All: Thank you all. You are all so wonderful.

I am. Kind of. There’s still some things that I just can’t think about yet, stuff that I can’t deal with yet. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to deal with it, frankly. When its over, probably. If it’s ever over. I don’t know when or if that day will come, to be honest. I think the other day just shattered me. I still don’t know what do. I don’t think I ever will.

But enough of that. It’s getting too close to the stuff I can’t deal with yet, so I’ll move onto another topic. We had sports carnival today, and for the first time in years I went. ^_^ I got all dressed up — I think people took pictures, so if I get one I’ll show you. I had a nice satin skirt and then an overskirt in tulle and then I wore a police hat with a purple band. (I’m in Purcell, which is pruple/maroon, haha) It was really fun, but fucking freezing. In the end I was wearing my shorts, a tracksuit, and the skirts, and then I was wearing a shirt, a jersey and jumper and a scarf — and I was still freezing.

The cool thing about Sports Carnival day, at least at my school, is that the guys get really dressed up — they’ll take any chance to wear dresses, I swear. My house captain wore a purple skirt, and then another guy wore these really tight pants. Very hot. But they all do that. They actually had to ban Cross-dressing at the Interhouse Music and Drama Festival because one year every ensemble ended up going in drag. XD

I’ve just had a rather frank discussion with my brother…

…I think my entire world just collapsed.

Well, I’m in the process of coding, although it’s not going well. I can’t remember if you can absoulte position something if you have it horizontally centered. :/

I’m not so annoying with the girl who is staying with us, but I am kind of swamped. Will update soon. Kiss kiss.

Don’t you hate it when you tell someone something in confidence and then they completely fuck it all up for you and put you in a shit position. I’m just so angry right now. I told this girl something, which was supposed to be in confidence — and it concerned the choosing of someone for a position. She suggested another girl, who I wouldn’t have picked and wouldn’t have recommended. Then, then, the girl actually told this other girl and asked if she would be interested in the role, and told her to talk to me about it.

I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?

I feel completely overridden and manipulated. I’ve been put in a horrible position, because this girl thinks that she knows better than me. So now I’m the one that gets to tell the other girl that, no, I don’t think she’s at all suited and I’m not going to recommend her.

I just feel used, and that’s making me depressed.

I know I told some people that N-e 2 should be coming up before the end of the weekend; I was wrong. I haven’t even started coding, god help me. I’m still working on font issues. It will be up soon, however.

Can I get a cheer for the weekend? Went out last night — wasn’t bad, but I was home by 1. Then today I went shopping with the girl who is staying with us at the moment. I bought a black top and a green one that can go over the top, and a brown cardigan-y thing and a white coat. Have to say that I love the coat. It’s about knee length and is so gorgeous. The problem I have with fashion at the moment is that layering is in — so everything is designed to be seen. So a jumper has holes in it, or doesn’t close up the front properly, or something like that. And what I really like is the classic pieces that you can wear no matter what the fashion — and then just have some key of the moment pieces. The problem about that is, however, that no where has classic pieces, haha. And, also, that some clothes have the tendency of being trashy…

But, yes. Things are going well. I need to do some study this weekend, or else I’m going to fall far, far behind. >.>

I’m sorry for the crap updates. It’s really kind of shameful.

The new site is designed, I just have to code it. It’s everything I wanted, and more, so I’m really quite happy with it. At the moment, only Alan has seen it. Mostly it’s just quite simple, so…yeah. *nods* Hope you guys like it when you see it [although it might be a few more days.]. ^-^”

Based on Shin’s comment on this post [Which I never really replied to], I have a meme-ish question for you.

1. If you were an adjective, what would you describe?

2. Use it in a sentence.

Shin said he’d be ‘lame’, but personally I think it’d be something like ’satirical’. “It’s such a Shinmaruian Drama, you can really taste the irony.”