Where Does The Time Go?
It’s difficult to believe how quickly time passes. At school it all seemed one big blur, nothing that interesting. Having left school and undertaken other projects [i.e. uni + doing not all that much for 4 months], it’s gotten to the point where I can pinpoint what I was doing at a certain day of the year. Father’s day in 2006, I was in Sydney at my friend Maddy’s. January 3rd this year, I was on my way to London. March 23th 2007 was my first day at work — a fact I rememer because I prophetically told my manager that I had to leave early due to the fact that my ‘best friend’ [a lie] had her birthday that day. Funnily, we later became best friends.
But it all goes past so quickly, a whirlwind of events and thoughts and fleeting glimpses. It came home to me today when I was browsing a forum I’ve frequented for years. A member who hasn’t posted in a long time has put up pictures of her newborn baby. Her baby. I’m trying to recognise, to fit together these differing pictures. How does a girl who is an all-american, cheerleading high-schooler turn into a woman who has been married for two years [do I know of this man? Should I?] who has had a baby [When did this happen?] and is almost finished her college degree [Did she always want to teach?]. How did I miss all this?
It’s not the only thing I’ve missed. I spoke about being at Maddy’s place before. When I left ICMS, Maddy was dating Dan, fully intent on finishing her degree, totally passionate about events. Now I hear news through mutual friends, and I want to know how you reconcile these. Maddy and Dan broke up, Maddy is back with her ex-boyfriend, she’s left her degree [although did come out with a diploma], and has moved to America [with current boyfriend].
It just slips by so quickly, and it’s bizarre because so much happens in people’s lives so very quickly. It’s not that the changes are a bad thing, by any means, but I feel like I’m missing out on the in betweens, the transitions in everyday lives, because I don’t keep in touch. And I feel, too, a little like I’m standing still — have I done anything that would make people go, “How did you go from point A to point B?” I don’t think so.
But maybe that’s because I know the in betweens.
Can I Just Say?
Spammers are idiots. Firstly, the fact that they spam one post 875 times is stupid enough. That they always used the same name makes them twice as stupid, because search comments + name = two clicks and all posts are gone. Hopefully they’ll go away now.
…Ha.
A Bitch, If You Will
I know this is nerdy to end all nerdy-ness, and I doubt that anyone involved with OB will read this post anyway [which could be a good thing, really, I don’t know], but frankly, this year’s Nifty Fifty just wasn’t. nifty. And this isn’t sour grapes because I wasn’t in the fifty, because you can note that I didn’t even post a nomination. It’s just..These awards have been going for years, have evolved and grown. Last years awards were so polished, with graphics and divs with effort put into them. This years awards are, well, not. It’s just text, not even modified text at that. Frankly, I think that the Nifty 50 is the biggest event of the year, and it was rushed. I am not for it.
/rant
February 15 2008 :: No Comments
I Feel Like Joan of Arc…
…Because I burnt myself on, well on chicken, not ‘a steak’ so I guess the terrible pun doesn’t work. And technically it was the oven I burnt myself on. Twice. In the same method. On different hands. I guess I’m one of those people who just don’t learn. And then I did the washing up which was actually quite silly because burnt hands + hot water = mostly just pain. Go figure.
I’m going to be back in Australia on Wednesday night, Australia time. While I love you all, do not call me until Thursday after 3:00pm Australia time. Because otherwise I will cry. Possibly yell. Probably hang up. Because jetlag makes me meanly and such.
I’ve really enjoyed it here in England and I definately want to come back. I almost don’t want to leave, although I’m at the point where I do really miss my Mum and even my room at college where I can just hide. It’s difficult not having anything to do when my sister and her husband are so busy all the time. I feel like I’m smothering them sometimes because it’s hard for all of us to have alone time. But I love being here, I love the climate, I love the food [although the chips aren’t fantastic], I love the fresh air and the green and I almost don’t want to leave. But at the same time I miss summer. And my mummy. So I guess now is a good time to go, when I’m still in love with it, but I also won’t mind leaving, either. Sometimes I’m kind of like, “Awww…dammit” but sometimes I’m like, “I want a hug from my muuuuum.” so, yeah.
But packing sucks and I don’t want to do it. Although it’ll be fun to show my mummy all my new clothes, hee.
January 31 2008 :: One Comment
I Am Not Dead
I promise! I’ve just been too lazy to post, because I am a terrible person, hehe. Although I do manage to fill my not-really busy days with plenty to do. I get up, have breakfast, go for a walk, have a shower, then I’ll do some dishes, some administration stuff, some learning and then my sister gets home. I do some knitting while watching TV, have dinner and maybe go to the pub that night. I’m in the process of learning to cook [I make a mean bruschetta, am learning how to make pie and now have a list of required ingredients to be able to randomly cook at a whim.]
My brother in law is also in the process of teaching me how to manage my finances, which is awesome. I’m still learning, but I’m hoping I’ll have it pretty much down before I leave. I’m also doing the last part of my French course, and writing [a little] and stuff, which is fun.
But I am still alive, i promise.
January 29 2008 :: One Comment
The World Is Sick Sometimes
And not in the ‘awesome’ sense of the word.
Sometimes I wonder exactly how it is that people can be so malicious so much. Yes, there are little things, things that affect me personally on some level, but then there are large things that just illustrate how horrible people can be: to the things around them, to animals, to the environment, and to each other.
It starts off small; snarky and intentionally dampening comments made by friends, maybe the parents of friends, people you work with. It’s the odd ability for people to somehow believe people who are ‘different’ from them are ‘inhuman’, that they have no feelings, that they’re irrational and obviously don’t know anything. It’s ridiculous.
It’s small things, things I can shrug off without much concern, albeit a little pique; guys I’ve never met driving past in a car, yelling out at me that I’m fat and ugly, people being so selfish that they won’t even hold a door open when you obviously have your arms full, tiny things like that.
And then there are the bigger things, the things that honestly make me wonder how I can possibly come from the same species as them, things that make me ashamed to call myself an Australian, a caucasian, a ‘western’, even a human. It’s the racism left over from the Cronulla riots, a young Aussie saying of the riots that “The wogs seems to have learnt their lesson, not to come to our beach”, it’s the obscene belief that all muslims and bad, this need for people to have an enemy. It’s so Orwellian, like we’re being directed to hate to maintain control, and it’s ridiculous. 30 years ago, no one gave a minute’s thought on the subject of Muslims. No one cared. No one associated ‘muslim’ with ‘terrorist’. 30 years ago, everyone was very concerned with the communists. And now? Does anyone really care about the communists? How regularly do we talk about them in every day conversation? From all that worry, all that paranoia, did the communists actually take over the globe, did they crush our capitalist nations? No, they didn’t. And Muslim is a religion, it is a way of life, it cannot account for the actions of a person — the people themselves must make their decisions for violence or for peace. In no way does it preach anything but tolerance.
It’s finding out about a story like this, in which a young girl with depression killed herself, due [in part, though I won’t attribute it fully] to the mother of the girl’s friend. The mother, acting in with what I can only interpret as selfishness and maliciousness, joined myspace simply to find out if this girl was badmouthing her child. Frankly, can I just say that that, in and of itself, is so petty. And then she turns around and, knowing the girl’s depression and her mental state, calls the girl a slut, tells her that no one wants to be friends with her and, still pretending to be this boy a girl considered a friend, told the girl that ‘he’ never wanted to speak to again because she was a bad friend.
Now talking as someone whose brother has depression, I know firsthand the sort of reaction that can have. I have seen my brother so upset, and I can almost see him replaying lines, sentences in his head, and they basically consist of ‘no one loves me’ or ‘i’m not good enough’ and ‘I don’t have any real friends’. That sort of attack on a person from an adult just seems so senseless, so selfish, and what in gods name happened to living with the idea of ‘do as you will, as long as you don’t hurt me’.
It just seems so senseless. People are people are people. It’s that simple. I wish we could show a little more compassion. I want to embrace the idea of good karma, of doing something nice in the hope it’ll come back to you, but it being okay if it doesn’t. I want people to look at someone different and feel curious about the differences rather than fearful. And then I want them to realise that ultimately, people are really quite similar, beneath it all.
Okay. /ranting.
December 4 2007 :: One Comment
Two Down…
So I did an exam this morning and it was a little like dying. But the best thing is that it’s over now — I only have two to go, and then I’m done!
Also, I got currency for over the seas, whee.
…And I’m sleepy. Nap time.
November 19 2007 :: One Comment
Busy, Busy, Busy
So, it’s currently exam block and I’m in the middle. I’ve finished one exam, but I still have three more to go — Monday, Wednesday, Monday — and then I’m finished. However, in between all this examining, I’m also trying to a) have a life and b) organise my trip. I’m set for Phoenix and Wisconsin, although I’m still not sure I’ll even have accomodation in NY, so it may end up that I won’t even be going to NY at all — which’d suck, but..yeah. I have bought money in the relevant currencies, and I’ve booked planes from England to Paris, and the train ticket from Paris to Germany, etc. I should be okay. I just…I have no idea what I’m doing. Mostly I’m kind of like, “Um, it sounds grown up for me to get travellers’ insurance, right? Okay, cool, I might do that.” And then I just don’t know what I’m missing or forgetting to do.
Kind of scary. Particularly because I leave in exactly three weeks. I have 21 days to organise everything I’ll be doing for two months. Ahuh, yeah.
Oh shit, and I need to organise my french corrospondance course.
November 16 2007 :: 2 Comments
Melbourne Cup
So today, for those of you who are not aware of the tradition, was the Melbourne Cup, the one day of the year that has the singlemost high rate of absenteeism. And why is that? You may ask. Well, my friends, it is because it is Melbourne Cup Day; the ‘day that stops a nation’. Everyone, from school children to workers, stop doing what they’re doing at 2pm [or 3pm, depending on which part of the country you’re in] in order to watch race 7 of the Melbourne Cup, to place a bet or two, have a beer and try and cheer his or her horse to victory.
My cheering was particularly effecient today, because my horse [the first I’ve actually put money on], Purple Moon, came second. Granted, I picked my horse based on the fact that they were number 12, and didn’t look at the odds [they were quite good], so rather than ‘win’ anything per se, I more just ‘didn’t lose’ anything. Still, I retain that it was my cheering that helped us through.
So this Tuesday is going quite well for me. Hope everyone else’s is too!
November 6 2007 :: No Comments
So, um, about that ‘walking’ thing.
It’s officially not going to be happening anytime soon.
Had a big night last night. Broke my toe.
…Yeah.
